How Are You Coming Out of This Thing We Call COVID 19?

When we left the office, we were told we will see everyone in 2 weeks. That was more than 130 workdays ago. Yes! I am counting the WFH days like a lot of other people. I am not sure whether we were in denial or just hopeful. Does not really matter does it. The fact remains that we have been home much longer than we ever imagined possible.

I am one of the lucky that get to WFH. And I did not originally think that. In fact, when I first saw WFH on something I, no lie, asked someone I trust what it stood for. Now its on everything I see and everything I write. I mark the days in my Happy Planner (LOL) on the monthly pages along with the weather of the day. Stop judging. Actually…. feel free to go ahead and judge. I would too.

I decided that I was going to be one of those people that not only didn’t gain weight, but I would lose weight during this time. I was going to take a ton of online classes and develop some new, cool skill. In addition, my plan was to be so totally creative I would come up with incredible new ideas to run my department and share ideas within the company.

To do this I listened to podcasts, Ted Talks and YouTube videos of inspirational leaders looking to absorb the information and “create” my whole new me.

There came a certain time that these wishes of perfection started to turn into more of a survival thought process. My job was changing, and I wasn’t sure how that was going to affect my future with the company. Part of my job was managing buildings and we had closed them without any idea of when OR how they would reopen. I was crushed. I loved that part of my job and the activity surrounding a call center had been in my wheelhouse for over 30 years. What do you mean that’s gone?

I start thinking…ok girlfriend. What are you going to do now? You’re 55 years old and this is all you’ve known. I mean I’m not an idiot but couldn’t quite figure out how I would fit my skills in a new organization. Seriously…that’s how fast my thought flew. Went from 0 to 100 in 2.3 seconds and had myself on the chopping block.

Here is what is so crazy about this. Not one conversation has been had in the last months to even remotely indicate that I was going to lose my job. In fact, more responsibilities quickly filled the gap of not organizing a department move, ordering furniture or following up on service tickets. It happened so naturally I almost missed the beautiful transition with my worry.

From a business perspective I stopped marking the WFH days in my calendar and slowly stopped labelling everything with a prefix of COVID19. I also stopped planning for when we were going back. If it happens then fantastic. I’ll jump right in. Until then I’m going to concentrate on completing the required tasks, take on any new things they throw my way, and try and keep the team members I’m in contact with happy and engaged in all that’s going on.

I had to make some changes on a personal level as well. I was, quite bluntly, feeling like shit that I hadn’t dropped 10 pounds, finished any online class or developed any new skills or shared any breakthrough ideas. I had to stop following some of my favorite influencers on social media because they became so “in your face” with what I wasn’t doing that I felt worse after listening to them rather than better. They spent so much time talking about how they were “conquering” everything related to COVID19. The isolation, social distancing, motivating themselves to keep at the top of their game. I was sick of hearing it.

I realized that I, for one, had to stop saying new normal. It became such a catch phrase for me and kept reminding me that I lost the normal that I loved. I don’t want to keep trying to win the emotional battle over COVID19. I’ll fight the virus if I have to but I’m tired of this thing getting too much of my attention. You don’t get every waking thought I have or credit for any bit of motivation I find. I’m in this for me.

So, I’ll watch the news occasionally, laugh at the meme when it comes out and follow only those who are ready to start tackling the future for what it is and for me, it’s my time to thrive!

Always easier said than done. How many times do I fly off the handle because I’ve assumed someone is being “testy” or “aggressive”? When I respond in those times it’s usually in a defensive mode.

Doesn’t it seem to happen, as well, with the same people repeatedly? You see their name pop up on an email and your blood pressure starts to rise. Why is that? More than likely you’ve been burned by the person before or you’ve heard about something they did or said that got your blood boiling. But the hard truth is that it has nothing to do with the situation at hand. This is where we must acknowledge the hypocrisy of our very own actions.

Painful, I know, but it must be done. What if we were judged today by something we said or did years ago or even days ago. “Not fair” we would yell as loud as we could and yet we do it to others over and over again.

I think my new daily mantra must be…just today….act for just today….and throw in a namaste while I’m doing it!

Life is good and let’s be brave and call ourselves out!